The Music and Art of Kevin Michael Tillman

Tom said… “Kevin, I just read your essay that you wrote for Truthdig.com and I had to comment…I was really impressed by the way you expressed your feelings about the situation in Iraq. You really nailed it like nobody I’ve ever heard before. What’s going on with our government is unbelievable, and I’ve grown cynical and fatalistic. I don’t know what I can do anymore/ Thanks for speaking out. Tom Lawless” Although I would love to take credit for such an eloquent piece of writing, I must give credit where it is due. Though the article was written by a Kevin Tillman, it was not by me, but the brother of Pat Tillman, the Army soldier killed two years ago in a “Friendly fire” incident. Please take some time out to read this article and the responses posted there. It is quite the enlightening read. There is something we can do! PRAY. Pray for peace Pray for God’s wisdom Pray for God’s will on Earth. Jesus gave us the commandment that we should love. Love God with all our heart, body and soul; Love each other as he loved us; love our neighbors as ourselves. He warned us against trying to serve two masters – God is the only, not the first, but the only Master we should serve. I will let you draw your own conclusions regarding this concept. What terrible things have been wrought for greed, lust for power and taking nationalism to the extent of idol worship? What happens when we worship anything like we should worship and honor God – that we think it is infallible, that it can comfort us, protect us and save us from evil? What happens when we try to fit God into our lives instead of God fitting us into His plan. We go on about our busy lives, maybe go to church on Sunday and give to various charities, we “fit” the teachings of Christ into our lives. What would happen if our lives were the teachings of Christ? What if we lived in the model he made for us? To live as servants to one another, not the master? To live to uplift each other instead of trying to get the leg up over everybody else? To feed the hungry and visit the prisoner and uplift the widow, each of us as we are able? To be the instruments of peace that St. Francis speaks of? Imagine…. Just one day, one day, walk away from the life we normally live and for that one day, just one day, act like we really believe what He taught us act like Love is the one and only commandment act like when we do unto the “least of these” we do unto Him act like we understand that when we cherish God He will give us our heart’s desire – for we will desire God. just one simple day, say no to the way the World thinks and remember that He is God, and there is no other AMEN

This was intended as a comment on Stephen Hanchett’s blog, but it got to be too long. It was in response to his post on the Family Values Cult, in which he discusses the difference between Christ’s teaching of love and family compared to the modern interpretation. I think you will find it helpful to read that post first, before reading this. Also, reading the comments to that post may help, but aren’t necessary. Sorry for the long silence… A few quick points: First: The difficulty expressed here in loving an omnipresent, “ineffable” (not really) God is that it makes it hard to know what to love… I find it easier to start with what God gave us: His Son, Jesus Christ. He came to us as a man, and I often fall back on this when I get a little overwhelmed. To define God as anything, from “All Love” to “The Creator”, tends to do one thing – limit God. He (again, not really He) is these things and much more. If anything, we can say that God is ONE. the perfect unity, indivisible and yet innumerable. Second (and this is the LONG bit): I find it interesting that the “love” part tends to address the negation of the practices of the “Right.” But I have yet to see discussions of our own failing to live into the model of loving even those who would do us harm. I, as some of you know, will be the first to wear the “guilty” T-shirt and sit in the front of the “Love” remedial 101 class – if there ever were one. I am dying to see any attempt by either side to begin to find common ground and turn our backs on the hatred and bickering that almost everyone in these types of conversations is guilty of. Case in point: I have a buddy who has made it his mission to get the local divinity school to start recognizing and acknowledging the damage done to the LGBT community by their basically agreeing to the exclusion of said community from serving as clergy openly. This is a horrible over-simplification of the issue at hand, but I don’t want to get bogged down with the details and it isn’t this side of the equation I am trying to address. What I am trying to address is that the two “sides”, the administration of the school, and the LGBT and affirming allies are really so entrenched that my friend has his work cut out. On one side, you have administrators of a basically Methodist tradition that have a Discipline (Guiding rules) that states that all are of sacred worth and worthy to be ministered to. Then it turns around and says that any “self-avowed, practicing homosexual” cannot be ordained as a minister as this “lifestyle” is against “Christian teaching.” (they fail to mention what that teaching is, however.) This results in an administration that is either too caught up in its own laws or refusing to take the high ground and acknowledge that this stance is wrong and it does more harm than good. Now that’s one side….. Then on the other side, you have LGBT folks in div school and in the general population so badly hurt and suffering from these types of rules that they would just as soon go talk to a tree than to turn their eyes to God. After all, why bother with an entity that doesn’t acknowledge who you feel you were created to be? So deep are these polarizations that the very thought of open dialog seems so remote to me to be almost hopeless. I have even suggested to my friend that perhaps it would be best to tell the LGBTs that organized “Christianity” does not follow true Christian teaching and that they should follow God together apart from the “church” and be the Body. Yet he has decided to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable, and so I will be here for him if he needs me. My point is this: we can all rant and rave about how unjust and crooked the other is; how they cheat, murder, steal, and spread hatred…(Dems are just as guilty in my book – I gave up looking at this as a Dem/Rep Lib/Cons thing quite some time ago. I am Christian, period) But hold on a sec, how much hate and such are we spreading? Take some time out to look at some of the posts from the viewpoint of that question. how much is out there about the corruption and sins of the people we at least at one time supported? There is plenty of it out there, are we willing to acknowledge it and move on? Sure, I will grant you that the Administration is totally not taking responsibility for their actions, but won’t God take care of that if we can’t? I will grant that there is certainly room to complain and also to bring what really appears to be the Truth to light. But what will we do in between reading and posting? I don’t have the answer for that, I am asking. If we are dealing with the end times, shouldn’t we be living into the “Love” part, too? I mean, if the End is inevitable, shouldn’t we be focusing on trying to make this a world of love and not hate? More like Heaven than Hell? How much anger and negativity are we feeding into the world? Isn’t that a bit of a trap? David Icke said that people on opposite sides of a conflict like to think that they are complete opposites. In this case, as long as both sides fight and argue, I have a hard time making a distinction – I am, of course, talking about the general population and not the war criminals and crooks, their judgment will come and yes, we need to call for justice. There are plenty of people out there who only support these guys “just because.” How far could we get with a little diplomacy? In this case, the serenity prayer says it all. We can change the hearts and minds of those who will listen, but we have to reach them. We can never hope to change the behavior of those in power, much less anyone else. We may never be able to vote them out of office. What is God’s plan? I think only God really knows. What happens if we don’t like the answer to that question? We can either pray and ask for acceptance and understanding or be miserable for the rest of our lives. As far as “preaching” goes, speak the truth in love. A friend of mine had three guidelines to keep in mind before saying something. I am embarrassed to say that I don’t remember what they are right now, but I will ask her and get back to you. It is correct to help guide someone when they are in error. But always be prepared to be receptive of correction, too. None of us are without fault. Anyone who has read this blog knows that I am far from getting the “Speaking the Truth in Love” thing down, but I am tired of being angry and I know that I can do more harm than good most of the time. I will be posting here more often, but the tone will change.

Cross Burning in Durham, NC (click on the picture to enlarge)
On the weekend of may 8, 2005 a group of very hateful and awful baptists, mostly all from the same family (Phelps), came to Durham, NC. They were coming to protest a local school’s performance of “The Laramie Project” a play about the beating death of Matthew Shepard. These people are a group of self avowed hate-mongers and are proud of it! I was at the rally to counter their hate speech. There were 10 of them. There were over 100 of us. It was really incredible to see these people holding up signs that declared, basically, that gays, and anyone who supported our “defiling” lifestyle were deserving of death. In addition, they declared that God hated the US for allowing homosexuality….. Can anyone smell the irony here? If it weren’t for the right to freedom of speech and assembly that they enjoy here in the US, they wouldn’t be able to stand on the flag or shout out hate speech without fear of being arrested. What amazes me even more is that they aren’t arrested for inciting violence. Now one of many statistics that I read in the coming weeks before their little visit is that in every place they “visit”, hate crimes increase in the weeks after they leave. And so the topic of this post: What happens when someone brings with them the very Spirit-Demon of hate? Well’ here in Durham, we had not one, but three – albeit most likely from the same person(s) – CROSS BURNINGS! Now, some of you out there, especially if you live in the more rural South where the KKK tends to run amok, may not find this very remarkable. However, when I tell you that this is the first event of it’s kind in recent history you may begin to see my point. UPDATE: the national headquarters of the KKK has officially dis-avowed themselves from this event. The interesting thing about this is they accused a minority group for it saying that their motive would be “to draw attention to their cause.” This is typical of the oppression mindset. See Stephen Hanchett’s recent post,CSI Sodom. The Mayor of Durham said that this is the first burning here since he moved here, 1968. Although, as of this writing, there are no leads on the actual perpetrators of this atrocity, One of the sites where a cross was burned was one of the churches that our little Phelps family decided to visit. According to the pastor of that church, he can make no other connection why anyone would do such a thing. The Phelps visit was the only recent event where anyone has expressed their “displeasure” with the church. Now I know that this is all circumstantial, and I am willing to admit that one may have nothing at all to do with the other. But, if I were a betting man, which I’m not, I would put my money on the connection. I can’t help but believe, especially in light of the hate crime statistics they leave in their wake, that the Phelps folks have some very bad demons in tow. Call it what you want, but hate begets hate. I believe that where there is hatred, there the Devil is too. The Bible tells us that the real battle is not of men, but of principalities and demons, Good and Evil. That is why when we deal with hate speech and other such crimes, we must remember to be vigilant. We must remember that we thirst for justice, not revenge. We must be angry, but not hate our enemies. Jesus told us to love our enemies, for it is easy to love those who love you in return. Hatred can not stand in the face of love. It will either lash out, or run. Usually, though, it will run. While at this rally, looking upon such arrogant and ignorant hatred, even while it was faced by our singing of hymns and proclaiming the words of Christ, I realized that maybe, in the end, I can’t do anything to help them. To bring peace to their hearts. I pray for them – I wish they knew the peace of Christ in stead of the Hate of a false religion. Why post this on a site about Queers and Christianity? Well, I grew up listening to this kind of hate. There was a time I believed it. There was a time when I would allow people like this would bring me to the edge of suicide. There was a time when I believed, “What the Hell, if I going to Hell any, I might as well give up!” After all of these years of finding my way back to Christ, I realized as I was standing there on the corner holding my “God So Loved The World” sign, that they have no power over me. They declare that they have the answer to salvation, but really all they are doing is “shutting up the Kingdom of God.” I realized in that moment that I was free from them. No one would ever again shake my Faith that Jesus is love, and I am loved by Him.

Before I start this post, I would like to clarify a term I will use here. I will use it both for its simplicity and for its use as an affirming term of identification for the LGBTQ etc. community. That term is “Queer.”
Though in my younger life, the use of the term was used as an insult – much like “fag” and the like, I have learned only recently that this word has been adopted by the younger members of our community as a positive term. I actually love the idea and the irony it represents for me, so I will be using it more often than not.
I was chatting with some friends yesterday and I wanted to share some of that with you.
We were talking about homosexuals and Christianity and how there seems to be so much intolerance in either group for the other.
For much of the Queer community, the oppression and exclusion by a view that homosexuality is somehow sick and perverted causes them to throw out the whole concept of Christianity as nothing more than an oppressive elitist religion.
For many Christians, the relatively recent teachings – within the last couple of centuries – of this doctrine of the “dirty, having-sex-out-of-wedlock-non-heterosexual” have been very well-seated in their concept of “morality”.
I think the most interesting line that we came across in that evening’s discussions was how it was easier to come out as Queer in a loving Christian setting than it was to “come out” as Christian in a queer setting. The book we were discussing mentioned that many in the gay and lesbian community see this idea of being a “Queer Christian” as similar to being in an abusive relationship and refusing to leave it.
But for me as a Queer Christian, I will say this: I am Christian and I believe in the teachings of Christ and what He called us to do. Though I attend a Methodist church, this church lives up to the real teachings of Christ: that we are all persons of Sacred Worth – regardless of the color of our skin, how much or how little money we make, our “class” in the social structure, or who we are called to love.
Now, having said that, most denominational structures of Christianity frown upon Queers. These denominations have adopted the teachings of some early doctrine that says that homosexuality is against Christian teaching. However, the argument doesn’t really hold water, and more often than not, when that view is challenged, quite often the answer will be “Because it isn’t.”
But a simple cursory look at Christian history will show that much of the anti-Queer doctrine is not really Biblically based at all. In fact, much of the homophobia started much later, probably around medieval times.
Within these denominations, there are “pockets” of progressive Christians who believe that Christianity should be open to all who would seek it. They desire to have “Open Hearts, Open Minds. and Open Doors.” – This is a Methodist ad slogan, but followed at its true core, these “pockets” of Christians seek to not only stop closing up the gate of Heaven but open it wide and show the way.
All of this discussion led up to my conclusion that there are a lot of very accepting and loving Christians out there who love people for who they are and uphold Jesus’ message of love and justice-seeking. There are also very loving Christians who have been taught exclusion, but in their hearts, it pains them to see the Queer community suffering because of it. You will know these people by their lack of hate speech. their words are said in a loving fashion, for they truly see themselves as trying to save us in as caring a way as they know how. There is a stark contrast between these good, but misled people and those who flat-out condemn Queers and usually anyone who doesn’t believe as they do, to Hell.
The problem, really, is driven by what in my view is a minority. Many Conservative-Christian denominations depend greatly on the preacher, the pastor, or the hierarchy to tell them what they should think about the Bible and “Christian” teaching. More often than not, the folks in these congregations are not only encouraged to follow their preacher, but some preachers actually tell them not to read or watch the news, he’ll tell them what he thinks about the news. This also, in many cases, applies to the teaching of the Bible.
So much of that kind of “Bible study” focuses on one or two verses out of context and then manipulates them to fit into what they want to teach.
Almost all of the Evangelical preachers in the media operate in this fashion.
Now, I’m pretty sure that you could count these “televangelists” on your fingers and toes, and yet their views drive many Christians in the wrong direction. They are few, but VERY LOUD!
The words of these folks spread like a virus as every anti-Queer, “Pro-Life” preacher repeats the hatred and fear that the televangelists spew.
I find it amusing that these leaders focus on less than 1% of the content of the Bible. As Al Franken said “If you removed all of what the Bible says about homosexuality, you would hardly notice. Now on the other hand, if you removed all of what it says about justice, taking care of the poor and needy, and loving your neighbor, you would have a hole big enough to hide Rush Limbaugh’s drugs.”
The point is this: They strain at a gnat and will swallow a camel.
In the analysis, this is how I see it. The minority teaching a doctrine of “Christian hate” are becoming more and more a minority. However, they get a lot of money and a lot of exposure to spread that doctrine so more people hear them than not.
I believe that the Spirit is moving once again in the Body of Christ. More and more Christians are starting to understand that what the hate-preachers are teaching is a false religion. More and more are being moved by the Spirit to seek the Truth in Love.
The Hate-preachers are feeling the pressure, they are holding the government hostage and they know that their days are numbered.
Those who preach love, compassion, and acceptance need to speak up now.
Queer Christians need to come out to their Queer brothers and sisters and tell them that Christ loves them, and God has such wonderful plans for them. We need to tell them that those who teach hate and fear are not God. They can, just as many of us have, recognize that the Hate-and-fear-mongers are wrong. Yes, they hurt us, but we do not need to allow them to stand between us and Jesus Christ.
A friend of mine made a comparison that I found quite insightful. He compared our faith to this story:

• Mat 25:14 For [the kingdom of heaven is] as a man traveling into a far country, [who] called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. 15 And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several abilities; and straightway took his journey.
• 16 Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made [them] other five talents.
• 17 And likewise he that [had received] two, he also gained other two.
• 18 But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord’s money.
• 19 After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them.
• 20 And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
• 21 His lord said unto him, Well done, [thou] good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
• 22 He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them.
• 23 His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
• 24 Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art a hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: 25 And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, [there] thou hast [that is] thine.
• 26 His lord answered and said unto him, [Thou] wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed:
• 27 Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and [then] at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.
• 28 Take therefore the talent from him, and give [it] unto him which hath ten talents.

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My friend compared our faith to the talents and said that we should put our faith to use and not keep it buried until we stand before God.
This is so that we can “invest” in our fellow human beings so that they too may have abundance in Christ:

• Mat 25:29 For unto everyone that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.

When we hear stories in the news of children in other countries being taught how to hate, we speak of how evil the adults that carry out such tutelage must be.
Yet, we refuse to see what is right in our very own back yard.